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You don’t have to be a jerk to be successful in business
Posted in Best Practices
Many years ago we had a relaxing dinner with a client and his wife. After several glasses of wine, he leaned over, got right in my face, and said, “…Morgenstern, your biggest problem is that you’re simply too damn nice. You’d be a lot more successful if you had more a**h*** in you.”
I paused for a moment, and then burst out laughing. That’s just not who I am.
They say nice guys finish last. But for more than 30 years, including nearly 15 with Morningstar Communications, we’ve proven you don’t have to act like a jerk to be successful.
They say you need to differentiate to succeed. We say you need to focus on your excellence – not your difference – to succeed.
They say you need to sell in order to survive. Be smart, share your knowledge and people will come to you because they already know you are a valuable resource to help them achieve their goals.
They say you need to be tough. I say you need to be compassionate.
They say you need to focus on the bottom line. I say you need to focus on doing outstanding work for smart, successful clients.
They say business exists to make profits. I say business exists to help others, and profits become the byproduct.
Photo by Anthony Burrill
Stop listening to what “they” say, and start listening to your inner voice – it will always tell you the right thing to do.
My friend (and client) Lori Mallory, CEO of Kansas City Internal Medicine, recently gave me a book, “Love is the Killer App.” Originally published in 2002, it’s even more true today. In essence, this book validates much of my worldview on how to succeed in business … and in life.
The book extolls the virtues of being a “Lovecat.” This is defined as, “… the act of intelligently and sensibly sharing your intangibles with your bizpartners,” according to the author, Tim Sanders. He defines the intangibles as our knowledge, our network and our compassion.
This philosophy is hard-wired in my DNA. Always has been; always will be.
Your personal brand identity is your greatest treasure. Not only will your personal brand always travel with you; it often precedes you. “The only thing you ever own is your reputation and your relationships. Everything else is transitory.” (I quote a lot of people, but this one is actually one of my own!)
Having power in business used to mean holding your cards close to your vest; not letting anyone in. That approach won’t work today. Not anymore. Not in today’s world.
The world is run by intangibles – knowledge, networks and compassion. He or she who offers it up, makes the connections and gives without an immediate expectation of a return, will continue to thrive in the 21st century.
They say nice guys finish last. I say nice guys finish first. And, they enjoy the journey even more.
Onward and upward.
Tagged Eric Morgenstern, Love is the Killer App, lovecat, Morningstar Communications19 Responses to You don’t have to be a jerk to be successful in business
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I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you writing this piece. What a great way to work and live. I agree that business does exists to help others. Bravo!
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Phil says:
Eric,
The Beach Boys said it well in their song, “Be True to Your School.” You say, “Be True to Yourself.” It works.
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Very well said. One of the things I have learned over the past few years is to watch people when you are working/talking with them. Watch their face. How do they respond to you? How do you respond based on how they respond?
I say that because I think a lot of a**holes think they are winning when they’re actually losing. Or if they’re winning, they’re winning by fear. Winning by fear is like issuing a coupon every day. It may work in the short-term, but after a while your value is gone. It’s not a long-term strategy for success. Just ask Groupon.
Investing in people and relationships is a long-term strategy worth your time.
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Leslie Nemitoff says:
Well said Eric. I agree, especially with profits become the byproduct of helping others. Great comments. Leslie
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Eric! Thanks for mention. Your review is spot on and you are the ultimate guy to work with in this community. Thank you for your excellence! You make us all better!
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Ravi Dasari says:
Eric, your best asset is you authenticity and your desire to help others. I believe you have always been excellent at both those traits because I believe it comes naturally to you. It’s who you are. The added value is that in what is sometimes a cut throat business world where such traits are not common, they also differentiate you. So not only are you excellent at it, but it so happens that you are in rare company. That’s something of which to be proud. Continued best wishes.
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Ann M. DeAngelo says:
Amen!
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Hi Eric! Great post with an important reminder about building one’s personal brand and its tremendous value in the workplace.
These are words to live and work by. Thank you for reaching out.
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Spoken like the ultimate nice guy you are, my friend. Couldn’t agree more! Well done.
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What a great post, Eric.
“Having power in business used to mean holding your cards close to your vest; not letting anyone in. That approach won’t work today. Not anymore. Not in today’s world.”
Amen to that one. The rise of social media platforms (like this blog) have changed the rules. Being an educator, informer, sharer and strong communicator, that’s the way to go now more than ever. IMO, anyway.
Cheers, sir.
Jason Boies
Radian6 Community -
Eric – I agree completely, and must have learned from you back in the day, as this is how I run my business. To show my support, I’m posting this on our company FB page. You’re the best!
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Avi says:
Fantastic post.
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Mean people suck. Professionally and personally. Nice always wins the day in my book.
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Hey Eric, Great post. Life is too short not to be yourself…and if you happen to be a nice guy so much the better.
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Ashlie says:
Great advice, Eric. And something that is clearly working for you and all of your employees at Morningstar Communications. One thing I might add – sometimes part of being compassionate is being honest and direct which some may not think equates with being “nice.” If all we ever do it just tell people what they want to hear, we are doing them a disservice. Something else I’ve learned from you
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David Morgenstern says:
Nicely said, Eric.
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Debi rabinovitz says:
So very true!!!
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Julie B Smith says:
What a way to sum it all up, Eric. I’m with you 100%. What a great example you have provided to me and so many others. Life is certainly more enjoyable this way than the alternative.
Eloquently said Eric. This gives me great confidence in both my personal and professional life, as this is the only way I know how to TCB.